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Moments to Gold (or All I Have To Give)

March 18, 2010

The time and the date are set. The moment of impact is inevitable. What you have to give is nearly on its way now, and you’re thinking of fairly trivial or substantial things. There never seems to be anything in the middle – a last minute crisis, a momentary thought that you wish you’d done something differently or had another week to go. There is always more you can do.

It’s because we think of the person who is going to receive it.

I imagine them sitting there looking things over, confirming or denying their initial thoughts, and renewing (let us hope) their eagerness to explore further still. If we pause to think of it at exactly the right moment – moments to gold – it becomes the single most humbling moment in our careers – when we are filled with anticipation, anxiety and hope, when we present what we think is the best thing we can possibly make, and we hope they like what they see.

And we can never be sure, even if we gave it all we had to give. Suppose you have that luxury of really, truly believing in the game you have, believing that it is genuinely the best you can make. In the cases where that was true for me, I wished I could put this out there on the box in place of the marketing copy:

This is my game. There are 43 years in this box, and it is a summation of everything I have learned and everything I have become. It is all I have to give. I spent time on every single decision and made them to the best of my ability. I did this because I believed in this idea, and I knew that one day, you and I might meet, even if I didn’t know you then. What’s here is genuine and good and honest and right. This game is what I was growing toward. I am sure there is room to grow and improve, but I brought you the best I have to give. I hope you like it. – brenda

How humbling and insecure it all feels, and at the same time, it is a great honor to present it at all.

When what we’ve made is beautiful to us, we hope others believe it is beautiful, too. I have seen people release astounding games and mediocre games, and it always seems to me that those who are the most eager and anxious are those who deeply believe in what they have to give.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 18, 2010 2:17 am

    Dammit. I’m all choked up now.

    I couldn’t agree more with this. In fact, even if I can’t get it on the box, I’m going to insist on putting a message to this effect in the manual for the first game I can get on shelves.

    Thanks, Brenda.

  2. Kathleen S permalink
    March 18, 2010 10:37 am

    Brenda, you’ve written this about a game, but it’s about anything we offer to anyone. It’s the gift of ourselves that is implicit in everything we do. And it’s beautifully said. Thank you.

  3. Mario Rodriguez permalink
    March 21, 2010 9:35 pm

    Beautiful. Your words tell of creation through passion. When one’s heart and soul is poured over a creation, it may become like an offspring. All in all, to the benefit and detriment of the creator.

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